Kindness

Today is your birthday
But I can’t even tell you
That I remember that.
Giving me up
Meant giving up my kindness
Which seems so cruel.
I was always so kind;
Mostly because I loved you
But also because
You were kind too.
And while I think
I will always be kind
Because that is what
Feels natural to me,
I will always wonder
If my kindness
Will be appreciated,
And if being kind
Is really worth it,
Which goes against
The person that I am.
I’m not sure you’ll ever know
How subtly you broke me
That day.
Invisible damage
That’s permanent now,
A part of how
I live, and try
To love again.
Happy birthday.

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