My Dear, My Darling, My Love

My dear, my darling, my love.
I gave you my all, I held back nothing.
I gave you my heart, my whole, my entirety.
I laid it all before you, like fine, fragile porcelain.
I let myself go, I gave myself to you.
I have nothing left.
I feel such a fool.
Why would somebody invest so much in another person? Who would do such a thing?
Who would do a thing so foolish as to love a person with their whole heart?
Nobody told me to hold anything back, to keep something by, just in case.
I thought you’d held my love close to you, like a bird; not too tightly as to crush its wings, but not too lightly as to let it fly away.
But you let it sit in your hand until it trusted you, and it knew you’d keep it safe.
And then you made it fly.
You won’t find anybody else who will love you like this.
No one can love you like I do.
My poor heart. My poor, poor heart.
Life’s too short to feel this pain.
Life’s too short to ignore this love.
You brought out my best. You brought out my worst.
You made me the best I could be.
I am young, and should feel young, but I feel old.
I didn’t imagine that life would get in our way.
I thought we had something simple, and easy, and free.
I called you my ‘boyfriend’ but I didn’t like that word.
I didn’t like the idea of us ‘being in a relationship’.
I didn’t think of us as ‘a couple’.
I didn’t think we’d do anything as normal as ‘break-up’.
Perhaps it was ‘serious’ but I just thought of it as strong.
A real, good thing.
It sounds clichéd to say that we were more than a cliché.
How naïve, how foolish you are.
You poor, poor girl.
How very, very young you are.
You don’t know anything at all.
Oh dear, oh darling, oh love.
You have so much to learn.
You know nothing at all.
Oh, so much you have to learn.


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